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Guitar at important events

 
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MorganS



Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Posts: 371
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 3:40 am    Post subject: Guitar at important events Reply with quote

For some events a guitar can be accommodated. Like at a wedding, or becoming an adult party but what... a funeral. It seems like whenever I go to a funeral people get up to the podium and imediate family get up and tell a story, recite a poem, ect. If its inside or outside people still have something to say. I havent been to that many, but the ones I have been to have all been for a relative. Usualy its a grandpa, grandma ect. For the ones I've gone to I haven't said anything or done much to contribute. I always feel regretful later that I didn't say anything. When the unvaling of the headstone ceremony comes around, I want to say something but I don't feel like telling a story. Truth be told I've only been to two ceemonies. I really feel like I want to do something when the next funeral comes god forbid for a long time. Someone close to me... its hard to say but you know. Its my moms brother. He has kids and wife ect. I've never been to anyone other than my grandma and grandaps funeral. First of all I don't know if anyone from my family will say anything. If I'm asked though I don't know.

There's to many questions that I can't ask. I hope you can understand that. I just want to know ny opinion about me and my guitar. If I should ask when, what you know.

I just want to know if it would be a good thing to do.

Sorry for leaving aout so many parts but I... sad laugh... I don't want to say too much or make a fool of myself.

Morgan
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MorganS



Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Posts: 371
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 3:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know why but I dont want to edit my post.

The burrial shouldn't be about me at all and I wouldn't want it to be a big production. The song would be dedicated to him, and would be an original composition. I might be thinking that at the headstone unvieling might be better, but that might not be the right thing either. I just don't know how to go about this. Its just like I should get an idea

Morgan
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jazzerchick



Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 968
Location: SanAntonio , Tx

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morgan, I'm not quite sure what you are asking, but it seems like you wonder if it would appropriate to play a song at a funeral of someone close to you. I've played at some funerals, but it was either a close musician friend
and I was asked to play by the family, or I was hired to play by the family
because the person was a music lover or a person who used to come to hear us play; but always invited or hired by the immediate family.
My feeling about it is that if this person was someone who encouraged your
interest in music or influenced you about music in some way, it might be
appropriate for you to play something. But only if the family really wants it.
You must reflect on why you want to play at this because it is very hard to do, even when you don't know the person. If it is only to play in front of all of your family to show that you can do it, then you must not do it. If you really feel it in your heart, then you could ask the family, but don't be hurt or surprised if they decline your offer. If you do play , it should be something very short. Or maybe you could play while they are assembling beforehand.
It might be better to wait until you are a little older and have more life
experience before you take this on. Reflect.
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ourway



Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 153
Location: wisconsin

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jazzerchick,

I never thought I would see this come up in the forum. But In my will which all my kids have and my Pastor knows. I have stated, at the Church when they are carrying me out for the last time I want a soloist on guitar if possible to play Duke Ellingtons "Don't get around much anymore" And yes at the dinner after a funeral we have played. It's my party.
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Fingerpicker



Joined: 25 Jul 2007
Posts: 131

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One reason why people give eulogies is to help in the grieving process. By saying something (usually nice) about the dear departed, they are letting go. I personally would be greatly honored if a guitarist (or any musician) played at my funeral. It would be real kick if it turned into a jam. I'd come back for that.
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jazzerchick



Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 968
Location: SanAntonio , Tx

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with you guys totally, but we are musicians. Sometimes families
don't understand this unless it's clearly the wish of the dearly departed.
Even then, someone like my Mom for example, some folks like a more formal and serious or sad goodbye. I've played for both kinds, as I'm sure
have you, and it can be a hard thing to do especially if you know the
person. It depends on the situation, of course. I've been to some really
great musician celebrations that I will never forget.

Ourway, You want Don't Get Around Much? That's cool!
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hanni



Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 660
Location: germany

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i never heard americans talking about this Shocked , and i never can play guitar or do singing on a familiefuneral, you have to keep care of the culture and religion of the familie, are you realy ready for this????? there are things on earth we all can feel and this things came total near to you in those moments, do you want to let them work?............ do it only if you realy know you are ready for it....... (better not to do)
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MorganS



Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Posts: 371
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't want a moment like this go by without thinking what I really want to do. I hope it wont happen for a long while but I want to think about how I can contribute. I wouldn't do it for myself, I would do it for my family. Sometimes I look at this like its a crazy idea, but sometimes I look to it as a really important thing to do. I could play at the party after, and would play it when things have settled. That is probably what I will do. I'm probably not ready to do it infront of a freshly morning group. My guess is that some would understand but some wouldn't. I just feel if its the last time someones in my presance where I can see them, I want to do something. I think the main feeling I have is something terible has happened and wont end good. I really need to show support for everyone and help everyone through. I just (I'm saying that alot) want to do whats right. I want to do something for everyone and to show my respect.

Its more of a phylisophical inquiry to every individual person though.

Morgan
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ourway



Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 153
Location: wisconsin

PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I not to long ago went to a funeral of a friend who played accordian but also was a steel guitar player in a country band. At the funeral home instead of hearing Amazing Grace or any of the traditional hymns coming thru the speakers was 2 hrs. of Polka tunes at a low volume. This man was religious but wanted people to hear what he enjoyed. He didn't want people to feel bad he left the planet he wanted them to rejoice. He was a fun loving man he always thought his only daughter was ashamed because he played Accordian. I assured him she wasnt ashamed because he played accordian she as ashamed because he owned two.
Jazzerchick I believe is right if you are asked to play ask what they would like to hear at, at what time and keep it shot and pretty.
Good Luck
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hanni



Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 660
Location: germany

PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

.........what a different culture, death is not the end.............
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